Where Are All the Real Men? Is Chivalry Dead?

Liam Neeson – Real Man & Gentleman

I was on the morning bus to the city yesterday. It was one of those fully packed buses, where people have to stand in the isle as well. Normally I don’t mind to stand in the isle. It’s just about 15 minutes to get to the city and I quite enjoy observing people or just being with my own morning thoughts.

But this time it was different.  The bus driver had one foot on speed, one on break, which made us, standing in the isle, fighting for stability and hanging on anything stable we could.

Yes, you guess it right. There were only women, struggling to stay on their feet, while men occupied all the isle seats. All young and middle-aged men, sitting comfortably on their seats, heads down, most of them playing games on their iPhones.

What a picture! Just imagine that! Men sitting comfortably and playing their morning games, and women above them, trying to not fall down on the isle floor.  Is it a common picture nowadays?

I don’t know where all the real men, the gentlemen are. But it looks like they don’t travel by bus.

Have all the men even noticed that? And if so, what was going on in their heads? I don’t know, that’s their business. I know what was going on in my head.

I reminded myself of times when I was commuting to school. Almost an hour each way, every day. At those times there were manners that were followed. One of the basic rules of the etiquette was to offer a seat to an older person and a woman. And it was followed!

So what happened? What has changed? Have ‘equal gender opportunities’ killed the good manners towards women? I hope not. I still want to be treated as a woman. And for me a real man is a gentleman, well-mannered man. For me chivalry is still something I highly value in men.

If I want something, I should better to ask for it, right? And the truth is that I haven’t.

So next time if situation like this occurs, I will ask the man to be a gentleman. Will see what happens! I will share, I promise!

So ladies, out there, if chivalry is something you want from men, if chivalry is something you value, join me. Start asking for it! And share your experience.

Cheers for now,


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2 thoughts on “Where Are All the Real Men? Is Chivalry Dead?

  1. Although this blog post rings true to current trends in our society I do feel the need to defend those men who do still subscribe to ‘old world’chivalry.

    I myself have personally found their seems to be a common misconception about the ‘intentions’ behind male etiquette among women, some seem to feel that guys who open doors and give up seats for females are undermining them in some way, that equality between the sexes means equal treatment.
    There are those that squirm if a man suggests he carry her suitcase or opens a jar/bottle that she could not open, beliving these gestures to be that he is trying to assert his dominance over her.

    Let it be known that we do not open the door for you because you are a lady, we open the door because we are gentleman.

    Their are those of us still out there who were raised with manners, they may seem out of place and from a bygone era and though our actions may be called into question we will still offer our jackets to you when its cold or wet, hold an umbrella for you in the rain, open doors for you as a courtasy, offer to pay the Bill (and accept your offer to split it if you so wish) walk you to your door and yes, even offer our seat to you on a packed out bus in the city.

  2. Thanks for your comment. It makes me believe that there are still gentlemen out there. My message is – remain gentlemen and behave with chivalry. Don’t take it personally if some women don’t appreciate it. It’s a matter of choice to perceive good manners as a sign of a respect or a pointing on a weakness. I am choosing good manners and chivalry and mutual respect. That’s my message to both, men and women, with hope that who wants to listen, will understand.
    With respect, Karolina

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