One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and the Power of Free Spirit

I love watching movies. Movies, same as books have always meant a lot to me. I just need books and movies in my life as air and water. They help me to open into my imagination, into my deep inner feelings, dreams, secret wishes and much more. I dive into stories and let them touch my soul.

Last night I  I made myself a movie night and picked up  ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’, the movie by Milos Forman. It’s one of my favorite movies and the one of significant influence on my life. I saw it first time more than 30 years ago. Secretly; this movie had been forbidden to watch in my country at that time.

‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ movie based on Ken Kesey’s book, has a symbolic meaning and carries a life message for me. It’s a symbol of courage to be different and authentic and fight for the right to be that. It’s also a symbol of the birthright to live life in full expression of who you are. The message is how being self and authentic may inspire and empower the others in breaking through their limitations and get free. Yes, most of all, this movie represents fight for freedom to me.

And that’s why this movie is so powerful.  So much so that it had been banned by the dictators and was forbidden to watch in my home country. Of course a movie that celebrates freedom and rights to fight for it is dangerous for any totalitarians.  Movie that shows courage to stand up, break through limitations, rules and power of control is something that communists or any other dictators can’t leave without control. Because guess what! Free-spirited behavior is so contagious!

And so here I am. Living in freedom for more than 20 years now and feeling grateful for that every day. I feel grateful for having experienced both – dictatorship as well as democracy. I know the difference having experienced the contrast. I am reminding myself that freedom is a gift we have to embrace, celebrate and take care of. At the end it doesn’t come from the rulers of any country, it comes from peoples’ hearts. That’s why this and other movies and books reminding us of the power of individuals’ free minds and hearts are so important and powerful at any time.

“I have tried, haven’t I? At least I have tried!” says Jack Nicholson as free-spirited Randle McMurphy in my favorite scene. These words have been my life motto ever since I saw the movie first time.

I love watching movies and l love reading books. Do you?

Karolina Maya

Can you live your dreams through your children?

Can you live your dream through your child?

Hi ladies, Karolina Maya here.

Can you live your dreams through your children?  One lady asked me this question replying to one of my blogs. I felt tempted to jump straight into the answer but something has stopped me.

What is the answer? ‘Well, it depends.’, was the only honest answer I got at that time.

The question has been on my mind for a while. I guess I need to look at it. And yes, the answer is not easy and black and white. It depends.

It depends on what dream you have and how clear you are about your own accountability for achieving and living them.

I was thinking about examples that would make it easier. So let’s go for this one. If your dream is to provide your children with the best education, it’s OK. You can do everything you can to be able to do that and that makes you feel great if you have achieved it.

But what if your vision of the best education for your child doesn’t fit to their dreams? That’s when the test comes. The dream of being able to provide your child with the best education has been fulfilled for you at the moment you have really been able to open this option as a possibility. That’s when your child’s free choice comes to the play. She may go for it or not.  If not, if her choice is different, how does it make you feel?

Another example may be even easier to understand.  Let say that you wanted to be a dancer and for whatever reason you didn’t follow that dream. Now you want your daughter to be a dancer and you do everything to support her. And she is really good. You do it for her, right? Or not? What’s the real truth?

And one day your daughter comes with news that she hates all the dancing drill, she had been doing it to make you happy and now she knows she wants to become a vet. Bang!

So here is my answer. I believe that we have to respect our children’s natural potentials, personalities and passions and as parents do the best to prepare them to achieve their own dreams.

If we project our dreams and sometimes even our own lost aspirations onto our children and we make them responsible for fulfilling them; it’s not fair to them.

So all together the answer for me is yes, you can live your dream through your children if you keep your dreams to be yours, you don’t expect your kids to be accountable for them and also you let your kids to have their own dreams even if their dreams are far away from yours.

So, do you live your dreams  through your children?

I love to know your thoughts.

Yours, Karolina Maya

P.S. Find more about me at my newly launched FB page Career Alchemy For Women

Where Are All the Real Men? Is Chivalry Dead?

Liam Neeson – Real Man & Gentleman

I was on the morning bus to the city yesterday. It was one of those fully packed buses, where people have to stand in the isle as well. Normally I don’t mind to stand in the isle. It’s just about 15 minutes to get to the city and I quite enjoy observing people or just being with my own morning thoughts.

But this time it was different.  The bus driver had one foot on speed, one on break, which made us, standing in the isle, fighting for stability and hanging on anything stable we could.

Yes, you guess it right. There were only women, struggling to stay on their feet, while men occupied all the isle seats. All young and middle-aged men, sitting comfortably on their seats, heads down, most of them playing games on their iPhones.

What a picture! Just imagine that! Men sitting comfortably and playing their morning games, and women above them, trying to not fall down on the isle floor.  Is it a common picture nowadays?

I don’t know where all the real men, the gentlemen are. But it looks like they don’t travel by bus.

Have all the men even noticed that? And if so, what was going on in their heads? I don’t know, that’s their business. I know what was going on in my head.

I reminded myself of times when I was commuting to school. Almost an hour each way, every day. At those times there were manners that were followed. One of the basic rules of the etiquette was to offer a seat to an older person and a woman. And it was followed!

So what happened? What has changed? Have ‘equal gender opportunities’ killed the good manners towards women? I hope not. I still want to be treated as a woman. And for me a real man is a gentleman, well-mannered man. For me chivalry is still something I highly value in men.

If I want something, I should better to ask for it, right? And the truth is that I haven’t.

So next time if situation like this occurs, I will ask the man to be a gentleman. Will see what happens! I will share, I promise!

So ladies, out there, if chivalry is something you want from men, if chivalry is something you value, join me. Start asking for it! And share your experience.

Cheers for now,

Karolina

Check my latest career blog  and feel free to share on our newly launched Facebook  community Career Alchemy for Women

http://karolinamaya.com.au/do-you-live-your-dream-career/

http://www.facebook.com/CareerAlchemyForWomen

 

Criticism and Judgment or Fun and Joy – Time to Choose

My Solo Routine – Tango

I love dancing! I joined a social dance club about two years ago and I enjoy every moment of dancing ever since.  I like learning new steps and patterns, waltzing on the dance floor with my teacher, letting my body flow with the music; I love the whole package.

And even though I enjoy it so much it can be quite a challenge time to time. I have observed that I feel totally out of my comfort zone when I am dancing in front of the others. Well, there is always someone else on the dance floor or sitting around and that’s all right. What challenges me though is performing in front of the others. Yes, I dance as if nobody’s watching when nobody’s watching but as soon as it becomes formal and I am observed, my knees melt down and my heart beats like crazy; right in my throat.

Why? Why? Why? It’s just dancing! And it’s for fun! I dance for myself only and I don’t really mind what the others think of my dancing! Yes, right; so why am I shaking?

Well, the truth is that whatever I say to my mind doesn’t stop my body shaking.  It reacts instinctively. I want to know why, so I let my feelings to take me back in time. And here it is.

I am back in my early teenage times.  Everything I do is followed by some kind of critical comment. I feel constantly judged. It’s nothing dramatic but it’s there always. Well, in my memories, in my perception, I know. But it’s so real! I still hear the voice, saying in Czech: “No ty máš teda ránu.”  “Nemůžeš se trochu upravit?” “No ty zase vypadáš” or “No tys tomu zase dala”.

It’s my mum’s voice criticizing mostly my appearance. ‘Sorry my dear English speaking ladies. I don’t know how to translate it.’ Well,  maybe you can add some of the critical voices  from your childhood here instead. I am quite certain you have heard some.

Anyway. That’s the past. I am letting go of that now. I am glad I am aware of what’s been holding me back. I am choosing to change it and do it now. ‘Mum, I forgive you, I am sorry, thank you and I love you. I know you didn’t mean it.It’s just the way you were.’

I am letting go of all the criticism and judgment. I am choosing fun and joy. I am choosing to dance as if nobody’s watching even if they are watching!

I know I am not alone in this. Hey ladies, do you let fear of criticism and judgment  stopping you from having fun and joy? Feel free to share.

With love,

Karolina Maya