Who Am I? – My Journey to Discover Self

Childlike Innocent Curiosity

It is great to be a woman. It is great to be a woman over 40. I find it awesome!

For the first time ever I feel I can really, truly and honestly be myself. Just be me, my real self! For the first time ever I feel free from any obligation to anyone else. I don’t need to fulfill anybody’s expectations from me, I don’t need to fit to anyone’s else beliefs of who I should or shouldn’t be, what I should or shouldn’t do and what I should or shouldn’t have. And of course I don’t even need to look like someone else wants me to look! (I wonder why my mum came into my mind when I think about this one? Oh well, Thanks mum!)

I had lived for too long time with unconscious obligation to be someone else. To replace someone who was lost too soon. For all that time I was fighting against it not even knowing what I was fighting against. Now I know the cause and I stopped fighting. I made a choice to go within and explore who I really am.

I really enjoy my inner journey to self discovery. Who Am I? I ask the question often and I wait for the answer openly.

Who Am I? “Curiosity” was the first answer I got. “An Innocent Curiosity”, said the voice again.

Wow! I am a curiosity! That’s awesome!

My mind goes back in time. Yes, I always was a curious child; I remember that. But I lost it somewhere!

The next memory that shows up in my mind is the voice saying: “Don’t be curious, you will get old too quickly!”
Well, it doesn’t make any sense to me now but it is quite a common saying, actually, a rhyme, in my own language and someone was saying that to me quite often. “Nebud zvedava, budes brzy stara!” Oh, it sounds scary for a child! Of course, it did sound scary to me as a child. I didn’t want to get old too soon! If curiosity makes me to get old, I better won’t be! Logic, isn’t it? And so as a child, I have shut down my natural curiosity, the natural flow of my source.

Who was it? Who was saying that to me? I hear the voice so clearly but I can’t recall whose voice is it.

It doesn’t matter anymore. I did get the learning that I needed. My core essence is an innocent curiosity and it is still there. It is still the natural Me even though I thought I lost it on the way. And it’s great! Childlike innocent curiosity, wow, I like it!

Oh gosh! I am so happy that I know now!

So I celebrate my curious nature, I embrace my curiosity as a life force, as a core of everything I am and everything I do.

I am an innocent curiosity, I am a seeker, I am an open minded being, I am courage, I am a wonder, I am a traveller, I am a student of life, I like to explore new things, places, knowledge, I like mysteries, I am curious!

Who Are You, amazing, wonderful, ladies?

With my heart wide open,

Karolina Maya